Orders of Love: the Natural Laws of Family Systems
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Another insight of Bert Hellinger is that our family systems appear to be guided by a form of natural law he called "the orders of love." One of these orders is that parents give life and children take life. Parents also come first and children second. This means that children cannot save or be bigger than their parents or take their fate. Another law is that everyone born into the system belongs and has their place even if they abandon their place or do something that might cause the family to shun or exclude that member.
When these laws are not followed the system moves into imbalance. Younger members born into the system are very likely to become entangled in the imbalance and attempt in a loving way to restore that balance at the cost of their own lives and well being. |